New record

So i haven't been r unning since July 8th. And once again i had another new record for my mile. Because most of my week has been me basically sitting in front of my computer all day coding i really needed to head out and do some running. So i ran a mile in 11:19. the old time was 12:35. I shaved a full minute off by not running for 3 weeks. Go figure. Hopefully someday i'll get to the point where i can run not one, but two miles. That will be the day. I'm so out of shape.

So after my run though i decided to go to the pool for a swim. Since being in california i haven't not actually been fully immersed in water. Go figure. I lived right off the beach for 2 months in Long Beach (which is understandable because you don't go in the water at Long Beach). I've been to huntington, laguna, bolsa chica, and some other beach and never really went in the water. SO finally i decided to immerse myself in water. Unfortunately it wasn't the ocean. It was a pool at the complex. I forgot to take my contacts out so that was a pretty pointless attempt of actually trying to swim.

anyways. i was reading through posts and realized that most of my recent posts have been techy and rather boring for you all. Sorry. I'll try to keep that down to a minimum. But the site is coming along VERY nicely.

Glen Starbucks Doubleshot
Save the Pinata's

End of saturday

So today was filled with working in front of my comp obviously.

With a lot of frustration I finally figured out how to create my own blog on my site without using Blogger. I've always known how to do it. Just never really wanted to because inserting pictures was easier through blogger. But anyways. I had trouble with the following

- sorting in a descending way so that the most recent posts would be on top
- had trouble displaying the date and/or title and/or text. I think my server was lagging or something.
= trying to get it to only post the posts that were only meant for the front page.
- freaked out in thinking i only had 255 characters for one post. Then figured out that i could change the box to a memo instead of a text gathering box. PHEW.

There was some other small stuff. but all in all the whole thing took me 4 hours.

well until tomorrow. peace out.

p.s. it truly is a darn shame i don't get paid for this. Its not intense coding. but seriously, its nothing a regular HTML coder could do or somebody trying to fool around with Frontpage or Dreamweaver. The big debate though... is do i keep this up? It is fun. But is distracting to my reading and social life.

login

So I have this uncontrollable urge to give you minute by minute updates as to the progression of my site. As of course you may know I had a lot of problems that have kept me from ever getting to this point. But my site is on my server and running well. I just started building the first two tables that will hold the posts of the whole site. Believe me there are a lot of posts to be made all over the site. I think I have like 17 different sections to blog stuff. but some of that are pages that will rarely ever change by me... but will dynamically change as I post. How cool is that. Ya pretty awesome.

I kind of noticed that the whole color scheme from the old to the new isn't all that totally different. SO your not going to get a total shock from going to grey and white to like Hot Orange. But the design is a lot smoother and sleek looking. I think you'll like it. at least for a couple of days.

But just to give you a little sneakpeak i've attached a little pic as a sneakpeak.



ya that's right I'm going to have a login page. SWEETNESS. I love security. Now I can hide posts from all Ya'll.



I'm a pretty reflective guy, sometimes too reflective. But sometimes I don't hold things back. I'd hate to hide the whole site because I really think that the God and Ministry section would be very helpful to others. And well I'd hate to hide the Fellowship part because I like sharing pics and things that I do with my friends and family (which is non-existent at the moment). But with the way the world is going these days, company's and people do google searches on you to find out who you are. I've got nothing to hide. But as you may know my grammar isn't always the greatest on this thing nor spelling because I just don't take the time to proof. It would seem to be a waste on my end. Probably not so much for you as a reader. Sorry.

But anyways. I'll have to get in to that whole security thing and see what I'm going to restrict and not. The whole thing about the security is that people won't ask for the password or request it (depending on how I set it up) because they don't think they're cool enough or don't want to hassle with remembering a password (which means I may just create a section where you create your own username (but still I'd have to grant access). Its just a huge exciting hassle.

in closing

so in all of tonights festivities i listened to the Replacements like 3 or 4 times i forget how many times i've pressed the play button on my dvd player (the TV is in the other room so i wasn't even watching it.

But seriously with everything that i did today i should have to pay myself like 500 dollars. First i figured out that the whole problem with my server and got that all set up. Then i figured out how to fix the router. it had to do something with masking the "mac" address. not to be confused with man n cheese from an earlier post. So then i decided to install VNCviewer. Which will now allow me to hop on over to my server without having to change chords or seats since i only have one working monitor and one keyboard and three mice (which only 1.5 of them work properly). So ya thats really awesome. Then i decided to install coldfusion on the server (sweetness). Then set up the first HTML page which said hello world (which every web book has you create a basic page like that. Then figured out how to access the HTML file from my home computer even though the files where on the server via the world wide web.... sort of. Its still internal ip address stuff. but i'm sure i'll figure out how to do that other stuff at a later date. I knew once becuase i had a radio station broadcasted from my home computer a couple of years ago so when i was waiting on campus i could go to the site and tune into my tunes that were playing on my computer. Ya i'm a nerd.

then i set up the network so that i could share stuff. so next time i have to do a reinstall all i have to do is put my files on my comp to the server. if they aren't on there already. Bonus.

So ya. wish i had some money to pay myself for all the good deads i did.

Anyways. Ya. its almost midnight. i never stay up this late. but its way to sticky to go to bed.

unbelievable

So i'm going to get geeky on your butt for a second

I have a server that has been locked up for probably what feels like a year. I installed windows XP to transfer some files over when i needed to reinstall my regular computer. The trial 30day period ran out and i never set it up to be on the internet. (and for somereason still don't work). But in my efforts to get it fixed it told me to call a number to activate the software. I feared i'd actually have to talk with a real person for obvious reasons.

Turns out the whole process is automated. SO i was able to look at some of the files. So now that i know i have access to the server now i just need to figure out how to get the server on a network so i can use it and install my coldfusion server on it so i can start learning... yup you guessed it Coldfusion.

So i'm a total nerd for spending my friday evening at home trying to fix my server and problem i was having with Dreamweaver. I ended up reinstalling my computer again. Go figure. It fixed it.

Its pretty humid here. everybody is saying its not usual. I'm used to it. just not used to not having the A/C. glad i'm not using it though.

Now with the move a couple of weeks after unpacking my monitors, the bulb in the big main screen blew. SO ya now i only have one monitor. This is not going to be a very good thing if i want to start my development of websites again. I can remember back when i wanted three monitors. I'm going to have to set up some sort of remote access screen or something to access the server.

Weekend looks pretty boring. Don't have anything planned. Yup pretty exciting huh.

difference

Okay so work took pictures that are supposed to go on the wall. Here is the proffessional pic attached with a pic back like summer of my junior or senior (meaning i had already graduated) year in college. So ya i'm excited for the change.



Today we had an audit from corporate. we did REALLY bad. Most of us are new. So we will all take it as a learning experience and take it into the next year.
475/1000.

Well ya can't think of much else that is happening around here. Still can't see the mountains. I might go to Dland with some people sunday. i kind of invited some people, but not sure if the got the hint.

until next time.

He likes it

So last night i was hard at work on my new template. I haven't put any content in it yet, but i'm really liking it. I haven't had the snags for somereason that i used too the first time i tried using this template. There is one minor problem i have with the template which won't have the ability to debug for a few months i think. Hopefully it doesn't end up being something i can't fix and have to scrap the whole project. that would be a huge bummer. I think you guys are really going to like the change. I just hope i would have the ability to update all of the pages that i'm creating. yikes.

Yesterday i talked with my old next door neighbor and she told me that there were sniper shootings in Indy the on Sunday. Whats the deal with that? That aint my Hometown Indiana.

So i figured i've gone this long without having turned on my air conditioning. I'm wondering if i can go the whole summer without it. Saves money right. its a contest. guys like a good challenge. And well it saves money right!!!! Lets see how well i do since the Humidity decided to kick it up a notch the past couple of days.

ya i didn't like the other version so i changed it back. your just going to have to deal with the incompleteness of the site for a couple of months i think. sorry

its monday

286. only 11 lbs away from highschool weight. unfortunately when i was in highschool i had a lot more muscle. As everyone knows muscle weighs more than fat. So i've still got a ways to go. but still that only means i'm 25 lbs away from 260. I really wish i had the money to start going to a gym. unfortunately I'm in the saving mode of not buying anything unless its food or gas and have been in that mode since June.

i started doing 20 crunches in the morning along with my 20-23 pushups. once again nothing huge. but small changes in life have lasting effects later in life.

i have been working on a different design for the website. So i think i'm going to ditch the green one and just put this site back up on front, and develop the other one. It will probably take me a full year to get it to where i want it to be. and probably six months to even publish it.so by the time i'm finished i will have the urge to change the whole design again. hopefully though having learned the techniques of coldfusion it will be easy to integrate all the changes to a new design. Hopefully.

Today's sermon was really good. Three key things that i want to share.

You have to know what you want
You have to really want what you want
You have to be willing to fight for what you want.

I might have another job thing for webdesign. Don't know what all it entails. but it will be some extra money!!!!


TMNT Teaser
(You know Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) Has it really been that long?)

new pants

So i'm in some dire need of new pants. I just keep thinking that i'll lose a little more weight so i should wait to by new pants. But on top of that, i'm really too cheap to buy clothes.

People ask me what my target weight is. and back when i was 350 it was like i hope to get under 300 some day. I think my doc said he'd like to see me around 260. So i guess thats kind of been my goal. It wil be interesting to see what exactly i look like when i get there. I'm pretty sure i'll be pleasently suprised. And for some odd reason the word aerodynamic comes to mind when ever i'm walking outside, espeically when there is wind blowing. It just feels totally different. Couldn't tell you how or why.

If you couldn't tell i'm in the middle of a site redesign. I don't quite like the one i have. The template isn't working for me. So its going to be a whole lot more work than what i had anticipated it being. I'm very tempted to delete all of the archives and start totally fresh. I was going through old archives and files and reminiscing of old posts through the pictures on the server.

While developing this new site i came across some snags and was reminded how much easier the website would be with using coldfusion. I don't have a host that allows coldfusion. STINK. But i do have a server but its locked up becuase the software verion on there has expired. So i think i know how to get to stuff off of it, but i have to find a router in order to do that. But i really need to buy some software for that server so that i can use it to train myself on Coldfusion.

actually the site that this website is on i think is up in january. i had a free 3 year hosting agreement which is up. I'm pretty sure i won't continue with the group. i'll probably see if i can find something where i can use coldfusion on the site. Not that any of you guys would really understand the different becuase its more of a behind the scenes type language, but still it would make my life much easier.

Aim

So lately in order for me to log into aim i've had to do the upload thing. Believe me its totally annoying. The whole thing was jacked up. But still deffinately needed. The whole reason for the upload version was becuase the new version was ALWAYS bogging my comp memory down. I couldn't do anything without it taking 30 minutes. But today i finally found the old version on their site. So i'm back to the ease of having desktop AIM. It doesn't offer me all the bells and whistles like the other one did though :(

Today was actually a pretty good day at work. thats about all i can say their.

Well last night i cheated. I asked someone the other day what they thought the "perfect job" they thought i would be most happiest at. I really wasn't going to ask anybody the question, but really felt led to ask him. And he came back with one characteristic of a job that had been impressed upon my heart as of late. And a job that i felt I probably might not like in certain ways, but he said i would be really good at it. Which oddly enough has a lot to do with what i'm doing now. So thats cool. I know the job i have currently is not one that i will keep forever. So it will be neat to see how i progress forward in life to finding more perfect jobs that fit my skills, especially as i recieve a lot more direction from God then i ever have done with previous Job decisions.

relationships and visions

i know you all have been waiting anxiously for a post, but i've just been doing a lot of reflecting as of late. Two of which i want to hit the very surface of. I'll probably bore you with one and may have something worth interesting about the other.

relationships
- Marriage is a whicked hard thing to go through. There are so many different scenarios, and suprisingly enough the examples that i here that are the worst, i get the most encouragement from. Not becuase i myself want to go through any of it, but to know the hearts of the men going through it. To say that every man and women deserve a perfect relationship just doesn't seem fair to me. Their is sin in this world. With out it, we would not need Jesus. Without learning how to work through ours sins and those who sin against us we could not possibly grow to have faith that moves mountains. I would imagine in marriage that there are always times where one may fall out of love with their spouse. I truly pray that if i get married to someone that we never fall out of love at the same time. On top of having many great years of loving each other. But as a post earlier about love, it does not have the same ring to me as it once did. Along with the bad times of relationships you truly want to fix things for the people going through them. When Jesus was in Town (on earth) you have the centurian guard who know Jesus could heal people from far away and his servant was healed. Also their was a canaanite woman that had come to see Jesus to have her daughter healed. And Jesus healed both of them because of their great faith. That is so amazing to m e. And the recurring theme is that the more we learn the more realize we don't know anything at all. And some may think that they are scaring me away, but I have to hope that as i progress forward with my wife, i'm able to dicern the woman that will continually choose to love me even when she doesn't like me for what i've done. I would have to think that there is someone out there like that. If i ran into her tomorrow i probably wouldn't know it because i'm not looking. And i don't know when i will get back on that horse again. Paul says its great for a man to be single. So what seriously would keep me from being single the rest of my life. If i can seriously live a happy fulfilled life serving God then why would i need a wife. Would she be one that just tied me down from the ministries i'm supposed to be a part of? This isn't the first time i've had this conversation with myself or others. I'm sure it would dissapoint the whole gene pool of killing off the Last name. But Marriage is tough. I'm not afraid of it, but i certainly have a healthy respect and fear for it. Granted the waiting till 25 to start dating someone. I thought i was ready, God apparently still wants to show me some other things about life instead as a single man, and that is heartbreaking, but exciting that he wants me to himself just a little bit more.... or a lot bit more.

Visions
So just about every church i've gone to or seminar or rally, or revival there is always talk about taking the city/campus for Christ. It never happens. I tried once by organizing an on campus event once. But here is the disheartening part. I am almost willing to bet that most churches have had a pastor that has preached at one time that we should have a fire within us to want to reach out to the community. Then on a further step they have probably preached at some point that God wants the whole city, or God takes the whole city. Like the flood, Sodom and Gamora (sp), Leading Isreal out of slavery. etc. That passion is back that i once had in college. and although i do not have a campus to have an event, i do have the state of Calfornia. And i haven't gotten the vision yet to tackle the county of LA. But i have recieved one thing and this was way back before Jenna and i were even dating. And it was to somehow start a biblestudy at Disneyland. I'm not prepared yet to do that. And i'm not one to be someone that preaches the gospel out loud and many people come to the realization that they need to confess their sins and all that wonderful stuff that John the baptist did so awesomely. I'm more of the relational kind of guy. So i don't know where that is leading anywhere or if it will lead into anything. But i did kind of get off track. This isn't to knock any of the pastors that have preached these sermons. Its mainly me thinking on my own, that there has to be a way to connect these churches. Satan has done a great job of seperating us by faith and denominations and political stances, and all sorts of other things. My heart burns knowing that there are two churches on the same street a block from each other and nobody knows anybody from either church. You look at the new testament with Paul he was writing to lots of churches. And yes they were falling left and right when people like Paul weren't telling them they are slipping in their faith and going down a path that does not lead to righteousness. So how on earth do we connect these and take a whole city for God. Can you imagine a whole town worshiping God. That is so powerful. A whole town coming to gather like they did in Nehamaih to here a priest read the law in the scorching heat. And until given a different vision, i think the only thing that will wake a lot of people up is that if somebody does threaten and launch a nuclear missle over our heads and lands in this city. Unfortunately like the Columbine incident, and 9/11 and the hurricanes and earth quakes, its all temporary for a lot of people. People get spiritual during bad times, but once everything is good, they go back to life as it was. Just like in the New testament with Paul continuing to write letters while he was in jail to tell his brothers to get back in shape.

well thats long enough. Went to the beach today. walked the beack for 1.5 hours. it was good, but seriosly could have done it another 1.5 hours and still wouldn't have done half of the thinking and praying i felt i needed too.

Please heal my brothers and sisters! I ask that my faith be strong enough to make this happen.

I WIN

So here is book number 4 that i have won from inbubblewrap.com. I'm catching up Bobby. only one away from tying you.

weight

So i was right i got down to 285. So that means 15lbs in a month. Given the circumstances of having broken up, you'd think the weight was do to depression, but really it hasn't, becuase i have been eating*. I'm doing the organic thing so that has been helping. Staying away from Beef becuase it takes so long to digest. haven't had pasta in ages. Obviously cut out the fast food back in April i think. I forget the last time i was at In N Out. Don't go out to eat because i'm too cheap. I've been doing the whole push up thing in the morning, and running a little. Thats not consistent yet but hopefully will get there. And really you can't call running on a treadmill running. Its more like a style of jumping. Because its like your jumping in a sort of way so that the treadmill takes your foot backwards only to bring it forward again. totally different than actual running where you actually have to exert the energy to move forward.

Anyways, so ya. 285 is where its at.

so i haven't gone running since June 22nd i think. And i was told by someone that it takes 2 weeks to get into shape, and only three days to get out of shape. Today i have disproven that theory! I am living proof that buy not running you can actually improve your time (obviously if you distort figures and don't tell the whole truth).

But last time i ran it was 12:52 for one mile. Well since it has been slightly over two weeks my new time is 12:35. Ya an improvement.

Now probably the only reason that this occured was because i never really stopped doing the pushups which probably helped me grow more muscles which helped me not to fatigue as quickly (a whole 20 seconds worth. haha. But anyways, it was funny running on the treadmill. Well actually running is never funny to me because i'm always trying to focus on not tripping and getting that next breath of air in. But this time that i ran it, it didn't seem all that terribly difficult I mean still after running .55 miles i had to slow down for .5 of a mile to cool down then finish the rest. and having wasted the first .30 just walking to warm up to the run.

anyways this post is way too long. But i did start doing curls. the back sides of my arms are getting definition (not that any of it can be seen just felt) but the bicep doesn't get very big when i turn my hand around. SO i'm going to have to start excercising that muscle. I'd hate to have a arm that is huge underneath but not on the bicep.

today/tomorow starts a new month for me. So many thoughts/decisions/prayers/concerns will be thought about and come to a conclusion as this part of a chapter ends. So please be praying for me. It is greatly appreciated.

weight update

290. 10 lbs in a month. and i'm still dropping so well see where its at in a couple of days. i wouldn't be suprised if it drops down to 287 or 285 in the near future.

Johari Window

Please go here. Johari's Window

i took this thing for my company and want to see how similar it comes back on how friends view me. Please pretty please. it would mean so much to me.

seriously

So wow. I don't have TV, and i found out today (last night for most of you people) that a nuclear missle was shot in our direction, and two where fired towards south Korea from North Korea. You'd think i would be shocked. but it was really quite odd hearing the news, becuase i was like. wow i just posted a whole thing about the word Safe, and that end days where coming and war is upon us. And here there was a possible attack on our soil. Call it a revelation, call it confirmation for what i was thinking earlier for my life, or you can call it something else. I couldn't tell you that i was scared, but some friends just kept saying that they needed to move back to their hometown where threats like this don't happen. I guess they were saying that the nuclear missle could have reached the distance of Colorado. Whether this is all true i have no clue. i don't have TV, nor have i even spent the time to look at news online to see what the deal was. but it was just sort of surreal (if thats the word to use here) hearing about the attempt to bomb us in light of my post previously and how i felt called to the battlefield and all. I hate to say that it was neat, but it did give me some sort of security in a spiritual sense that I am where i need to be. I am called for such a time as this (Esther: Somewhere)

Laterz all. ill post later about the craze awesome whicked experience i had this evening with celebrating the 4th.

Safe

Where in the bible does it say we are to lead "Safe Lives!" Every time i hear the sentence on the radio "Safe for the whole family" I cringe. So much of the life i have been craving recently is to have a job where i work 8 hours come home to a wife and kids and serve in my church. I would also add in there Love God, but the word love means something very ratical and doesn't belong in the scenario i have been wanting. Now maybe down the road that may be exactly what I do. I don't know. But needless to say. When someone says they Love God i can't help but think about their relationship. I have gone a lot of years thinking that I loved God. And maybe i did, In going back to Scott's illustration with the towel illustration:

two couples are having dinner together. Someone asks the Husband of the other couple what he misses most about life before he got married. He replied that he missed the big thick fluffy towels his mom used to put out for him when he would take a shower. His wife never new that. Does that mean that the wife loved him less by not providing the big fluffy towel? No. But the very next day the wife put out a big fluffy towel out for him when he went to go reach for what used to always be a very thin small towel.

So to say that I loved God less might be debateable, but thats beside the point when talking about the word safe. I don't know what unsafe for me entails at this moment. I remember talking with a missionary a long time ago where he let his kids learn about the facts of life growing up in the intercity parts of towns. People getting shot, raped, seeing drug deals first hand. Now i couldn't tell you what the missionary's kids turned out to be like, but that is deffinately an unsafe life. Do you subject your kids to the lifestyle as well. Do we try to keep there minds pure or bombard the minds with what the world really can be like, and show them extreme circumstances to let them know that there is a world hurting out there? Thats obviously something that would require more prayer, and a deffinant long conversation with my future wife. At times it's almost scary to even get into a relationship. A girl may think that i am this nice kind person, then get this calling to go to Africa amidst a huge revolutionary war where christians aren't welcome. But once again thats not saying i will, or that i won't. While being a husband it can be very easy to want to protect your family. Why risk going to Africa where you might die, or your wife might die, or you might die as a husband, and leave your wife to be captured and tortured. We live in a country that doesn't know persecution. And i think because of that a lot of Christians have missed out on a lot of oppurtunities to test their faith. I mean the amount of persecution one might be is becoming the "Holy Christian" at work and be outcasted, and never invited to function. Its funny to think, that some might pray to be including with the group, and others are praying for safety from the ones that attack them, and then there are the ones that are praying that whatever happens, that His kingdom may be furthered and more may be able to know Christ through the events that they may suffer and endure.

Now i don't mean to scare a lot of people, but here are some of whats been happening to me. The past few days there has been talk about Earthquakes (I haven't felt any since i have been here) and war. All i can think about is the end times. It states that their will be famine, war, and earthquakes during these times among other things that are starting to happen. The more i think about it the more I'm compelled that the end is near. There is so much work to be done.

I can't help but feel called to the battlefield of California. When thinking of war, we have Downtown LA, the oil refineries, and the Army base in San Diego among other things that terrorist probably want to attack. If we were to have a war i don't really know what i would do. If this area got hit we would probably be quarantined with the people that actually lived. And we probably couldn't produce safe milk at our plant with all the radiation from the nuclear blast if they had a nuclear bomb. So that brings me to my next point. Not to say that there will be a war starting in california anytime soon, or earth quakes are going to start happening more frequently (famine has already hit a lot of the world). I can't help but think where is my place in this world. God calls us to love his people. And yes that can be done in many ways. But i know there is a burning desire within me to do something different and i don't know what that is. I don't know. But i am fine at the moment where i am. I might get a little restless when it comes time to renew my contract for my lease on my apartment if i am supposed to move somewhere else and start attending a different church? I just don't know.

Now i can't say i have dreams like Joseph did, but i can't help but be encouraged to be a Christian and to once finally have a small part of that burden felt in my heart after 25 years of living and having never really thought the end was near.

So moral of the story i really don't like the word Safe. It just doesn't sit right with me.